I hate...

I hate this.

I hate everything about this.

I hate it how we are friends.

I hate how I'm not his girlfriend.

I hate it how he's not my boyfriend.
I hate it how when he hardly to meet,but he would only stay for forty minutes.

I hate it when he suddenly calls because it sends me the wrong message.

I hate it how when we're alone, he'll hold my hand.

I hate it how he'll just rest his head on my shoulder.

I hate everything because this is all driving me stupidly insane.

But at the same time, I love his moonlight sonata presence because he drowns me into the world of wonders.

I hate myself specifically.